Barbie Mommy

mental note

2009-07-24T18:11:28Z

do not read journal entries when i am borderline emo.

barbiemommy @ 2009-07-24T12:55:00

2009-07-24T18:06:12Z

Dulce is being so annoying right now. Seriously so fucking annoying. No more electronic monitoring for me and what am I doing.....on LJ. Hola!

Gabe n I are kaputz. Oww. He says that when I am around he feels like he can't function because he is constantly fretting about me, what I am doing, thinking, feeling etc. Oh yea, not to forget that he said I made him miserable. =( So whatever on that subject.

This morning I locked the keys in the car with the engine running. UGH! <333 roadside assistance. I need to get an oil change.....then try to keep my mind occupied from this bullshit.

barbiemommy @ 2009-07-08T20:58:00

2009-07-09T02:03:51Z

phillip emailed me back the email address i couldn't remember. really did me no good because no one had sent anything worth reading. 30% off at saks? i am so there. there is a certain betsey j purse that i am soooo dying for.

ruben is like seriously the coolest. he's always there for me and i know he always will b...i hope. i spent most of thbe afternoon w pilli. misery loves company for the most part.

tomorrow i have so much shit to do. i need to cut out my random cussing. so not lady like.

nothing really else relevant to say....at all. sort of. but nothing worth repeating....you know??

barbiemommy @ 2009-06-28T10:46:00

2009-06-28T15:50:08Z

he is such a good pretender. and i am such a gullible fool.

i never get how people can accuse me of being so devoid of emotions. i'm a walking sentiment.

barbiemommy @ 2009-03-08T15:07:00

2009-03-08T20:15:45Z

dulce is getting so much older and i love kids at her age. no naive. so refreshing.

gabe and i are good for the most part.

mariano and i are on somewhat speaking terms i guess. myspace messaging i believe should count.

but really the most important thing to update on is that the cps case is finally closed. their was so much dragging going on. almost 8 months and not really doing anything. so we got a new case worker and she seemed pretty diligent on getting this case done with asap. due to my personal health i couldn't meet up w/ her. my mother got a call the other week which said that the caseworker verifired the info that i had given her and that the drug test i took back in december came out negative and that was that. case closed.

i mentioned this to mariano and it didn't even merit a response. i wonder if he still feels bad for what he did.

i am going to try this. i have not done this is a really long time. free type. i haven't even done a free write either. i don't think that i am supposed to be deleting things though. i first started doing this in middle school because during our journal time in english we had to write. i remember her saying if you don't have anything to write just write down i don't know what to write. the whole point was a consistent flow. i stopped to think. that sucks. game over. i am such a loser. like in bingo. gabe n i go ....gabe interuppted me. so that ruins this all. oh yea.....

gabe ruined christmas. personal joke.

tis all.

/fin

barbiemommy @ 2009-01-26T08:40:00

2009-01-26T14:47:26Z

I have had no contact with mariano in months. but on christmas day he sends me a myspace message wishes us and "our daughter" a good day and he hopes that he and i could be better friends in the year to come.

whatev.

gabe and i did the island thing. quite nice. relaxing for me....he had his sessions to go to. i wish it was hotter so i could have gotten a proper tan.

i bought confessions of a shopaholic while i was there....finished it in about a days time and now i'm ready for the rest of the series. it a fun and very easy read. i like books like that at times. either way, i figure, i do have a couple of months to fill before chuck p. book comes out....in march i think.

dulce has a new bed. she had been sleeping in her play pen for the most part if not on my moms bed squeezed between my parents. we got her a nice cherry stained wooden toddler bed. we outfitted it with tinker bell covers and she enjoys it. buuuut, we find he on the floor sometimes at night.....or in the hall way where she has brought her blanket and made herself a new "bed".

there's even been a couple of nights where my mom has woken up to her peering eyes trying to get on her bed. my moms bed is pretty tall. you need a little jump to get on....or if you are in the latter years a step stool. dulce needs a little combo of both.

barbiemommy @ 2008-08-11T15:57:00

2008-08-11T21:02:01Z

random thoughts.

i'm on the phone w/ pan am.

dulce is asleep and i'm debating on where to take her for lunch.

i'm thinking the woodlands. they have this neat smores thing for desert. they bring out a fire candle thing w/ marshmallow?? on sticks and a hershey bar.

either that or denny's. can't beat the kids eat free deal.

mom is in the hospital. kidney stones.

gabe and i are cool. happy. love. we got matching tattoos yesterday. crazy. little orange hearts on our inner lip. i think he regrets it. but ha! nothing he can do abt it now.

went to austin w/ him the other weekend to watch batman at the imax. fun times.

tis all.

barbiemommy @ 2008-07-27T22:15:00

2008-07-28T03:15:54Z

i've never been this happy!!!

i am so in love w/ this man.

unerving at time.

cset la vie.

barbiemommy @ 2008-07-06T23:49:00

2008-07-07T04:48:12Z

This is my first update from la casa de gabe.

....really no more words at this time.

Maybe I can come up with something

No, empty mind.

Party Monster time.

<3 the question club

barbiemommy @ 2008-06-17T13:49:00

2008-06-17T18:50:28Z

I am inclined to be dilatory//../////surfeit

I am nervous about tomorrow.

the chains of time.

barbiemommy @ 2008-06-16T06:57:00

2008-06-16T12:11:36Z

There has been a climax in our relationship. I mean the L word. Srsly.

I'm not quite too sure where I am going with that though. But on that train....why did I hold out this long to go out with him?? I feel safe in his arms....the age difference isn't bothersome in the least. These nails are.

The whole Mariano thing. There are times when I think about how much in love? we were. we had some really good times/sex. tmi. tmi. but that doesn't change the fact that he's a self serving arse. i just think about the whole transie thing....this whole cps bs and nostalgia turns into rage.

ha.

barbiemommy @ 2008-06-13T15:53:00

2008-06-13T20:58:54Z

Russert. Woa dude.

My bro is here. I saw his truck parked in MY spot at home and I raced inside and cried as I hugged him. I haven't seen him in 6 months. We are going to the movies later.....he rocks. Mucho.

Gabe comes tomorrow. I'm super stoked about that. These nails hinder the typing. Irk.

barbiemommy @ 2008-06-11T16:54:00

2008-06-11T22:19:49Z

Been writing/reading a lot lately. I made some oober (miss you eli) delicious organic vegan enchiladas last night. i love food.

why is it so hard for me to say i love you.......or even just show my appreciation for those that put in the time and will to be my friend. i know i'm not the easiest person to keep company but i'm an awesome person; sometimes i think eli is the only person that will ever see that.

oh, and my kid. ye, my kid hearts me so.

barbiemommy @ 2008-06-11T11:41:00

2008-06-11T16:47:41Z

What have I been hiding from for so long....???

I bought a pack of cigs yesterday. bleh. desperate times. first pack i have personally bought for myself in years...pre tax hike.

Mom still isn't doing too well. I've been staying here till late making sure Dulce is totally passed out before I creep out and sleep alone. So lonely. Yellow. I need to sleep w/ the stove light on and bedroom door open. Maybe I should actually start decorating the place.

I'll update later. Father's Day shopping.

barbiemommy @ 2008-06-09T18:18:00

2008-06-09T23:32:12Z

...and another one bites the dust.

LJ I missed you. *hugs*

umm. umm. umm.

barbiemommy @ 2008-06-01T10:55:00

2008-06-01T16:13:30Z

oi vey. implosion.

w/ that said:

this whole week was a blur. this cannot be attributed to the lack of sobriety. these nails hinder the flow of words. the characters are still the same as last week. the plot has thickened. my stupidity/abrasiveness prevailed. always the perfect additive for any dramatic plot.

i need to upload 21635132156+ pics of dulce.

i'm out of words. or thoughts. both. time is persistent.

i need to pay the phone bill today. good excuse to not answer calls today. better excuse to spend the day w/ the kid. sushi once we are dressed. get this green shit out of my hair. museum after. if the wind is right-a kite would complement the day.

<3
ciao.

happy mommys day!

2008-05-11T13:52:00Z

yesterday we celebrated mothers day (mexico) and today it's american mothers day. awesome. two days just for my mom and i!

my dad did the usual drill. he got us our corsages and took us out to lunch along with my grandparents. we also met up with my aunt and uncle. we ate at pf changs and eroc! was our waiter. oi. oi. not that i am avoiding him but it is quite the awkward of situations. my dad said that when my mom and i got up from the table he mentioned that he has seen me before....whatever he meant by that.

marcy....yes, weird. since feb all the girls went on an anti angie trip and she never called. but i guess all is buddy buddy. whatev. she called cause she wanted to go swimming at the pool at the apt. myra wanted to go shopping. i hate shopping downtown. but we went. then to heb to pick up the photo and frame for my lil bros mothers day gift. myra went on some long shopping thin

more later/

barbiemommy @ 2008-05-07T08:00:00

2008-05-07T13:18:52Z

went to cincin last night with gabe. really yummy. just got off the phone w/ mariano. i had to reiterate how i am not in love with him anymore. dulce now has her nightgown draped on her shoulder doing a happy dance.

mariano hung up crying. oi vey.

barbiemommy @ 2008-05-03T10:36:00

2008-05-03T15:40:43Z

I have been convincing myself that I need to go shopping. I have nothing to wear, it seems. At the moment, I am supposed to be on my way to the car wash place. It NEEDS it. Myra and Marcy.....go with them to Mexico. I have been exed as a friend on Marcy's and Jessica's myspace. Nice. A while ago.

I've been craving a beer with chile for a while. I can never seem to find chile behind the bar in the states. I need a massage. Sounds nice. Probably pass the day there.

Gabe and I are sorta talking. Whatev. Really. I told Mariano the other day that he just gets on my nerves. I don't hate him or anything but he's just annoying. His goodmorning/goodnight texts aren't needed. He's backed off......a bit. He came to pick her up today and he asked me for a kiss. ?????? No!

Carwash.

Adios.

barbiemommy @ 2008-02-04T22:58:00

2008-02-05T05:01:10Z

<3 ed hardy

life is ok. really. sometimes. i really shouldn't have any complains. did the super bowl thing w/ the girls and monster. went to a party and then we went to nathans. i was the only sober one there. dd. funny how these girls act like drunken fools. today in class i had a speech to give w/o much notice. i didn't mind going up but really could not think of a thing to talk about. it wound up being on something frivelous.

i rented a movie. i should watch.

barbiemommy @ 2008-01-31T01:31:00

2008-01-31T07:32:39Z

so i go to wal mart and i run into elis parents. dude, like they all fucking ignored me except his mom. i froze. i was on the phone. we locked eyes and mouthed hi to e/o and that was that.

it hurts.

dulce cries.

adios.

barbiemommy @ 2007-12-08T19:45:00

2007-12-09T01:48:19Z

so like snoopy me goes into that evon's chick myspace and apparently her and alexis are moving in together in san antonio. he'd always ask me to go there. honestly dude, stop talking to a guy for a month and he gets himself another life.

yea, i guess. i couldn't have moved away to another city despite the promises.

blah it's hot. burn one down. adios.

barbiemommy @ 2007-06-23T10:56:00

2007-06-23T16:04:59Z

she talks a lot now. da da for the most part. she started off w/ something that sounds like blahbahblahbah. no ma ma yet.

she likes to eat whatever people are eating and automatically lunges at peoples plates. doesn't make her convenient when it's just her and i at a restaurant. while in vegas i took her to a buffet and she fussed the whole time. i had to carry her in order to get desert and it was a battle in itself to keep her from digging her hands into the pies.

when i sat down to eat it she cried and cried. i tried feeding her w/ a spoon and nothing. she didn't want that. i sat her in the booth next to me and she wasn't comforted until she was allowed to grab the pie herself and squish it in her hands and then continue to smush her face into it. yummy.

she likes to be in control of her food. she'll fight the spoon away from my hand. what kinds of finger foods are there??

she likes spaghetti and meatballs along w/ lasagna. potatoes are a favorite of any kind. mashed....i'm even guilty of feeding her fries.

veggies are a go only if they aren't mushed. she'll gladly eat them if she can hold them. carrots and baby corn..'..cucumbers and the sort. she also really enjoys avocado and refried beans.

she weighs...prolly a whole lot. she's a chunky kid.

she's crying.

i'm off.

100_0418

2007-06-09T04:01:23Z

100_0418
Originally uploaded by dulcesmommy.

my new favorite dulce pictures =)

100_0309

2007-05-22T22:13:14Z

100_0309
Originally uploaded by dulcesmommy.

my chunky monkey loved the ocean!